I get a lot of messages + emails asking for help and advice and sometimes they’re so thought-provoking (and I spend such a large amount of time + energy answering) that I know I need to share with more people.

One such request for help came my way last week and I knew immediately that it would be valuable for you, too.

Before I get into her Q and my A… I wanted to let you know that YOU can totally reach out with questions at any time. I may share the response as a vlog or article and it’s sorta like a free coaching snippet for ya.

In fact, I created this handy form for you to submit any questions you have for me! Woot!

Now, onto the good stuff.

Question:

“I have a question and I thought you may be the perfect woman to ask. I am looking for a business mentor and I don’t know quite how to find one or go about asking someone if and when I do. Do you have any advice/suggestions?”
– Steph

Answer:

Yes, I DO have some advice and suggestions! I have totally been down this road and had experiences ranging from awful to amazing. Let me ask you a few Qs to tease out what’s right for you.

#1 – Why do you want a mentor?

The first business mentor I ever got was because someone told me I needed one. And by someone I mean the entire world of online business. It was actually a business coach, not a mentor, and that’s a distinction that’s really important and I’ll get to it in a moment.

I felt like a big fat loser because I had been trying to get my business off the ground for a few months, using some online trainings and general business savvy, and it was totally not working (or so I decided).

So I reached out to the first person that seemed like she could help me make more money and gave her almost 7 thousand dollars that I was supposed to be using for rent money for the next several months.

I wanted a mentor because I wanted someone to pull me out of the hole I thought I was in. I wanted her to fix my problems. And that’s the sort of language she had on her website. It’s the sort of BS that many business coaches have, in fact.

Since then, I’ve worked with AMAZING mentors and coaches by figuring out what my desire is before even stepping out into the marketplace.

Is your desire to feel more aligned and authentic in your business + life? You’ll start to attract people who already do this themselves.

Is your desire to create systems and funnels to scale your business? You’ll begin to see offers for that very type of person.

Get clear on why you want a mentor before you look for one, or else you’re just going to attract people who are confused themselves and using buzzwords to convince you what you need.

#2 – What kind of mentor do you want?

As I mentioned, there is a big difference between a coach and a mentor, and they can both play a really important role in your business growth.

Option A) There are people who have worked and grown a business in your industry, but now focus solely on helping others do what they did. For example, someone who scaled a health coaching practice to the million-dollar mark but now helps other health coaches scale their own businesses.

Option B) There are others who still run their businesses (as in, they’re still in the thick of their health coaching practice on the day-to-day) but may take on an apprentice, sometimes even at no cost. If you’re looking for a relationship such as this, it’s still wise to always make it a win-win situation and provide value for them in some way.

Option C) There are others still, in the coaching space, who are practiced in the coaching aspects of a mentorship relationship and help people grow their businesses, but who don’t necessarily have the experience in your specific industry.

There is no right or wrong with each of these options, they’re just different – again, this is where the clarity comes in. If you’re hoping to have someone simply tell you what to do based on what they did, that’s very different than having someone coach you in creating what you’re uniquely capable of doing.

#3 – How does it feel to talk with them?

A really important aspect of searching for a mentor is using your intuition. I say that rather than how well you get along with them, because quite often a good mentor is NOT going to be your cup of tea all the time. They’re there to push you out of your comfort zone and that is inherently uncomfortable. However, they need to have the ability to create a space in which you feel safe getting a little uncomfortable.

Does it feel like a stretch and like they’re asking you to step up to the plate and be your best self?

Does it feel like they support you 100% and can hold your vision for you… even on the dark days when you can’t even see it yourself?

Those are always the best mentor-mentee relationships.

#4 – Ask them some questions:

Here are some questions you can ask any potential mentor or coach. They should be open to your questions to allow you to make the best decision for yourself, and remember that they’ll probably have some questions for you to make sure it’s a right fit for them, too.

• What sort of businesses/people have you worked with in the past? Would I be able to chat with any of them as a reference point?
• What kind of activities do you foresee us doing together? How does your mentorship work? How often will we talk? Are you flexible about hours? Will I have access to texts/emails/messages apart from our scheduled chats?
• What kind of results do you see us being able to get in the next 3 months? 6 months?
• What kind of results have your previous clients had? What have you accomplished together?
• Do you see yourself more as a coach or as a teacher?
• What’s the investment for working with you?

If you’re looking for a mentorship with someone who is or was in your industry, ask them about their personal results as well and the different aspects of your business that they should have had experience with.

For example, my friend is a yoga studio owner, and she needs to make sure that her mentor has had experience scaling a studio and training a team, as those are her most important goals.

#5 – Additional Advice

You want to find someone who sticks to their word. If they say they’ll send you something in an hour – they send it. If they say they’ll intro you to someone – they do it right then.

Good mentors can open a LOT of doors for you simply through connecting you to other people and opening their rolodex for you. They’re honest about their capabilities but don’t let that limit their support of you – they search for someone who can help no matter the situation.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING:

The most important thing is for a mentorship to feel like a partnership. If you invest in a mentor (or anything, really) because you feel lesser than and like you’re looking up at them so they can pull you out of a ditch or situation… it’s probably not going to be a good investment. That’s based on lack and won’t get you very far. No matter how excited a mentor is about your business, they can’t be MORE excited than you are.

If, however, you are investing in a partnership and know that your work with someone can support and enhance certain skills you want to improve on – that’s an amazing investment. You’re excited, you’re ready to put in the heavy lifting and do the work, and you want someone to guide you up the mountain. That’s where the magic lies.

At the end of the day, it all comes down to how it feels. Expansive, magical, groundbreaking work can be done when in partnership with a mentor. It rocks.

Whew! That was a lot and I hope it was helpful. Pleaseeee let me know if you have any Qs I can A for you.

Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention that I actually have 2 spaces opening up later this month for mentorship with me in Empire Alchemy™, chock full of strategy sessions, intuitive downloads, powerful playsheets, and partnerships with influencers.

Look for more info on that soon 🙂

Have a gorgeous day!

Cheers to your wild success,

p.s. You are magical.

p.p.s. Have you read The Name of the Wind? I literally tore through it in about 7 seconds (okay, several hours) flat after a recommendation from Alex Franzen. It’s masterful storytelling at its finest. Go get it and enjoy.